jasdrel :*

it's been along time we didn't have time together.
But yesterday, finally we did.
Lia, Edo, Rolando, Joan, Danny, Gatri and me had our dinner together at Pizza Hut. so sad without AUdy and Reynaldi.
there are much story we shared together. we laughed out of loud. We did something we lost for a while.
I am so Happy. no word can describe how I miss that friendship, I miss that moment together with JASDREL.
The time won't be enough for spent together with them.
aaaaa, I will miss you guys.
Edo will come back to Ausy, Lia will come back to Bandung, Joan will move to Jakarta, Danny also, Gatri to Singapore, everyone will do their best to reach their dream.
Good luck my dear :*
even I will miss you so much, but I believe there will be another time we spend together later on.
we will never lost contact. We are still JASDREL.
:(
huaaaaa, :'( if I can come back to the past, when we were at 11.
when we always do something together like we will never be apart.
when we do our assignment together at a whole day.
when we can go to the canteen together and laugh together at the rest time.
but present moment is the wonderful one.
Thank you so much guys for the quality time.
:*

AM I????

tonight I remembered about something really hurt me.
I don't know what exactly the time but I remembered when my friend said that I am bitch.
I don't know why he can judge me like that, I also don't know what I've done before so can make he thought like that.
At that time I was very angry and sad.
Can you imagine how I felt when someone told me I am a bitch!
I was BROKE!!
from that time, I always ask to my self, Am I the person like he said before?
Am I truly the one acted like bitch? what's wrong with me!
So damn!! I can't stop thinking about that.
I has already start something WRONG!! I wanna STOP,
Please, tell me what I have to do right now?
I'm going to be crazy!
I wanna learn to say NO to something I don't want! but I just can't do it.
every little single word always make me feel sorry if I reply with NO,
it just like that words force me to say Yes, even if I don't want to do that.
AM I THE PERSON LIKE HE SAID BEFORE?

Patient has no Limit

I don't know how to make my self believe with my choice.
almost all of my family said, "Are you crazy? is there no one else? why have to be him?"
and I can't answer at all. I have no strong reason for it.
sometimes, it make me feel confused. Sometime I said to my self, "it is my choice, I have chose my best!"
but sometimes his act make me think that I chose the wrong one.
Sometimes I felt very tired.
but I have to commit what I've promised.
Patient has no limit Sel,
God is testing your patience since you ask more Him give you more patience. :D

24 hours isn't enough!!

hey hey hey world!
long time no see ;) i don't have any idea to write, but I miss my Blog *hug*
waaaa, I'm going crazy about my university :(
first, i had already buy a form to register in university test. I choose IPA major.
But unfortunately I was WRONG!!!!! I ought to choose IPS or IPC (mix between IPA and IPS )
So, I have to buy the new one.
Its impossible if I want to ask for money AGAIN with my Daddy. I have to use my own money :(
 so silly I am. uuuh! disappointed with my self! uuh! stupid! stupid!

second, My chosen major force me to study about Economic, Geografi, and history. But i don't even know about that. So what can I do? anyone teach me please :'(
Maybe I have to ask my partner (Michael) to teach me, like usually we done, study together. hahahha

Third, I have no time at all.
from 11 in the morning until 8 at night, I have to teach my students. so it means, I have to be in a course.
I only have my night time to take a rest, relax, study more, or translate something, or doing something else in a temple.
May i have more than 24 hours in a day?
24 hours isn't enough
May my body sleep only for a hour.
but I can't. I have to keep my health. that's the important one.
I need Doraemon actually, give me please, just one doraemon or dorami, it can be.hahaha
Selly KEEP YOUR SPIRIT!!! Yeaahm YOU CAN DO IT!!!
hahahhaa
sometimes i really miss my Daddy, my best friend, Raynaldo Ali, who always give me spirit at that time. how busy he is now.
miss you edyang.
Miss you JASDRELO
Miss you Tlsnt'
Miss you Rani, Leni, Ayu.
 24 HOURS ISN'T ENOUGH TO THINK ABOUT YOU GUYS! :'(

Going grazy!!!

I don't know what I have to do with all of this.
First, I'm actually want to make SAMUDRA more success than the old one. I want to prove to anybody else that we can survive with or without you.
But the other side of these, I'm tired of being like this. No spirit, no people, no responses, no real support, NOTHING at all.
They only can speak up without do anything.
I wanna end this situation, I wanna quit. I rally really wanna quit!!!!
But a side of my self, there's SAMUDRA inside.
it make me really confuse! I don't know whether I should give up and don't care with anything else, or I should survive and make my self tired.
In this situation, I really really need You Bhante. the only one who always support us.
who always beside us when we face a problem or when we need something.
The only one who truly care and thankful of our exist.
even it just a little thing, He always say thank you.
I need You. I really need You.
give me a solutions, I don't know what I have to do.
:(

helo world!

it's been a long time I didn't write anything.
I wanna say Heloooooooo! :D
I wanna share about many things that happened in this 1 month.
after finished all test in Senior high school, I have my fun holiday. But it only for a week. why? because after that, I have to start working as a course teacher. fiuhhhh
How Tired and busy I am in this 2 weeks.
from 11 AM until 1 PM I have to attend my class for studying university's lesson.
after that from 2 PM until 6.30 PM I have to teach senior high school student.
so many activities that must be stopped, because my time out to teach.  
For example, playing badminton. I have no longer time for that.
at the beginning, all very boring.  
But this is the life. I have fight and sacrificed to achieve something that I want.
I have to fight for continue my life. 
Finally I know how tired my parents earn money everyday for us. Thank you so much Dad and Mom.
one more surprise story in my life is I have a boyfriend now. hahahaha
My boy is younger 2 years than me.  I know this is crazy! there is something wrong with me!
but I can't deny that I love him. He's special.  
There is something that makes me want to know more about him. 
There's something that makes me want to be with him as long as possible.
I know there are so many differences between us.  
Differences in age, thoughts, habits, and how to love someone.
I know that I will face many challenges to be in this relationship.  
I know many people will blame on me for this kind of relationship. From family, best friends and others.
But they are not me, not him. They don't know what is in my heart and mind.
through these relationships I learned how to be more patient. 
I just hope he also can learn how to understand me as I learn how to understand him.
I just hope he isn't play on me. 
and I believe him so much.
I try to not listen to anybody else. it ours, not their.
^_^
 

I don't know what I have to hope

Oh my God!!!
I've done the most daring deal with him. x_x
if he gets the maximum value later on, then I promise him, I'll do it.
actually, I just want to encourage him to keep his spirit to fight for his future.
I swear that I will only do it for him.
even though I still doubting him, I tried to believe that he will change.
he will turn into more mature than I hope.
I believe he will turn into a great man, no longer a boy!
but, there are deep apologize inside of me for someone outside there.
I know it was my mistake. But it was not only mine, it ours.
My big hope is it will be the last for him.
no more affair in his life. i don't want to feel the same like her.
x_x

BIG MISTAKE!!

what the hell is going on with me.
I know it will be a big mistake I have ever done, but I just can't control my self to stop this feeling.
:(
I wanna close my ears, so that I can't listen to anybody opinion.
I wanna close my eyes, so that I won't see the thing I don't want to.
I wanna close my heart, so that I won't feel this kind of feeling.
why?
if only the situation isn't like this, everything must be walk properly. :(